Today my roommate asked me, "Where is God in this for you?"
I've been in a tumultuous season for the past few months, just having a challenging time handling life and all that comes with it, and some days it takes everything in me to get out of bed. Taking on the world is a daily business for us all, and the monsters and dragons can be intimidating. I have a habit of waking up and making coffee, at which point I snuggle up at my desk, check Twitter, follow blogs, and sip my favorite dark roast. This time used to be some of the time that I looked forward to most, because it reminded me of the world around me and motivated me to, as Ghandi once said, "Be the change you wish to see". Lately though as I've scrolled through my feeds and people I follow, the news of realities of the world overwhelm me. Each day someone dies, is killed, is hurt, objectified, raped, and the list goes on and on. Women are still fighting for basic rights and children are still being sexually abused in churches. Racism, sexism, ageism-every ism you can think of-they're all alive and running, and to be quite honest the bigness of it all can be incredibly daunting.
Then there's just the bigness of growing up, and all of the decisions that come with it. Graduation, jobs, moving, writing, blogging, and relationships and internships and how in the world am I supposed to decide?
Some days the bigness swallows me whole, but that's okay because today I was reminded of this: God is in the small.
School starts tomorrow, but I've been back from the holidays for about a week. I could've slept in 'till two and lived off of coffee and those organic cookies in my cabinet, but I've forced myself to grasp motivation because right now, that's me answering faithful.
Sometimes it's getting out of bed and smoothing the quilt out flat. Fluff those pillows and arrange them real pretty, because this one act is small but wow, is it significant.
Sometimes it's changing from sweats to jeans. Looking perfect isn't the aim, but fighting against laziness is. Relaxing in comfiness certainly has its place, but all day every day? It's healthy to care about yourself.
Wash your face, comb your hair, brush your teeth and watch 'em shine.
I've never been into makeup, but lately it's been calling my name. It's fun of course, and on New Years I'll do a smokier eye, but most days I settle for makeup free, because really I just want clean skin (and all my hygiene brothers and sisters say amen). I wash my face, put on moisturizer, and we're good to go. Origins has always been my go to, because they use all plant-based products and intentionally care for the environment. I know all about their skin-care products, but the last time I was in I decided to venture outside of my simple walls and try out their makeup. I bought a pretty red lip and mascara that is supposed to make my lashes longer, and when I brought the little bag home I only expected to use what I'd bought every now and then. The first day I decided to give them a try, however, I discovered that something else was in the bag that I hadn't realized before: a little bit of God.
Now, this isn't some sort of anti-body-image spiel about placing identity in makeup. Loving yourself inside and out is a large part of my life mantra, and I think God can meet us in the bare skin simple and free. I'm not one to place limits though, and I often like being surprised at the ways in which God works, and what I've found lately in my life is that God is in the makeup, because even God can work through red lips and long lashes.
On the days when my Twitter feed overwhelms me. On those mornings when making big-life decisions seems scary and large and looming, large pointy fingers slowly advancing. In the moments when I just want to pull the covers over my head and shut the world out, because laziness seems a better option and do I even have energy today?
I will force myself to be get up and make my bed. I will wash my face, brush my teeth, and pop open that lipstick. Red is an empowering color, after all, and how else would I want to look smashing the patriarchy?
This color means I'm not body-bashing, because there's something strong about a woman in a bold lip.
This color means I'm being intentional, because I didn't have to care about this one, little act.
This color means I got out of bed.
This color means I'm being brave.
This color means I'm going to try.
This color means I'm going to care today, because I care about Jesus and bringing His kingdom to Earth.
On the days when the bigness swallows us whole, let us be faithful in the small.
These days, when I have a choice to do or not do, to live or not live, to let the world-changing and the caring and the motivation belong to someone else, I will choose to embrace them, full on.
And I hope you will too.
You may be in darkness, and the bigness may seem to be too much. I hope you can keep going though, because the world really needs you to.
To not be apathetic. To not be uncaring. To not turn a blind eye to the world around you, and to keep on fighting, because we are all fighters against the darkness.
These days, God is in the small.
God is in the makeup.
And my morning news-feed time? Well, as I'm scrolling through Twitter and reading on Facebook and following blogs of all sorts, as I'm answering emails and writing words and making grown up decisions that I feel way too little to be making, I feel a little more confident, a little more able to take on the world when I see that red lip-stain on my coffee mug.
