Marking yourself with permanent ink is one of those occurrences that you want to think long and hard before you follow through with, because once you go through with it, you can't change the end result. So I've been thinking and praying about this occurrence and about two months ago I decided that I would go through with it for various reasons, two being that first, I love the design and second, I believe in it.
I've believed since I was sixteen, but tonight I was looking back over my shoulder in the mirror at my cross and I was reminded just how much I believe: in the cross, in the resurrection, in the call to 'come and follow me'.
Especially in the call. I believe whole-heartedly in the call.
I write about doubt a lot on this blog, because I think we all struggle with different forms of it and I think that we need to make room for it in the Church. We need to be able to talk about our doubts. However, at the same time we need to be able to stand firm in truth, because at some level, truth trumps doubt.
Though doubts will come and authenticity is beautiful, the Christ-follower is not called to be wishy-washy. The Bible is clear that a luke-warm Christian is the worst sort, that luke-warm faith is not faith at all. Christ-followers are called to be open-minded and open-hearted, but at the same time we are called to be faithful, for it is a fruit of the Spirit. Jesus wants Gospel-faithfulness for those who take Him seriously.
So somehow we are supposed to find a balance in being real with our doubts, fears, and insecurities yet standing true in our faith, allowing it to take us to a place in which we trust God more than we trust ourselves. Alone, it would be impossible, but with the Holy Spirit receiving freedom is possible.
In this, in living by the Spirit, truth can overwhelm doubt.
Or, to put it biblically, love can cast out fear.
We will falter and fail, we will doubt and mistrust, but the Spirit will always bring us back, always guide, motivate, convict, reveal light. Christ-followers are promised this: that we are marked with the seal of the Holy Spirit.
As I was looking back over my shoulder in the mirror at my cross-tattoo, I realized the main motivation behind getting it at all.
Because I believe in it, I believe that spending one's life for the sake of loving others is the most fulfilling way to live. I believe that denying oneself and carrying one's cross is what it means to live out the kingdom of God. I believe that unconditional love is the sort that I am made for, the type of love that every human being is made to live out. I believe that love is displayed in the person of Jesus Christ.
I believe in what He's done, and it overwhelms every part of me. The least I can do is carry my cross daily and follow Him.
I believe in what He's done, and it overwhelms every part of me. The least I can do is carry my cross daily and follow Him.
And I believe in living out His love, because I have tasted and seen that the Lord is good. His love is better than life, and since I have a life to live, why would I want to spend it on anything other than divine love?
I believe we all have a choice, and I made mine when I was sixteen.
No matter what flesh-fears arise within me, no matter what doubts come, or no matter what attacks or temptations are thrown my way, I have chosen to follow love, and I've chosen to trust Jesus.
At some point we all have to read that stuff in the Bible and use our own experiences and choose a side: to live in faith or not. To trust that unconditionally loving others really is what's best for everyone's soul. To trust that we have a Savior who will make all things new. To say I believe in this biblical kingdom, this kingdom of restoration, healing, and love, and I want to live it out-even if it means having faith on the mountaintops and the valleys. To have hope.
To be certain of it's goodness. To be confident in the God who has given it to us. To love His grace and to trust His faithfulness, even though He is unseen.
To spend our lives for the sake of loving other people in the name of Jesus.
To carry one's cross, because in doing so Jesus is made much of.
To be certain of it's goodness. To be confident in the God who has given it to us. To love His grace and to trust His faithfulness, even though He is unseen.
To spend our lives for the sake of loving other people in the name of Jesus.
To carry one's cross, because in doing so Jesus is made much of.
To answer the call.
Endless thanks to Ink Images for making my experience an ideal one.
