This is week two of simplifying my life, of cleansing my heart, and the focus has been appearance. Quite honestly I think this one is the most difficult topic of them all for me to truly embrace, because firstly, my flesh is fallen, and secondly, so is the society in which I live. Everywhere I turn I am surrounded by makeup that will make me look younger (because twenty is simply ancient), clothes that will make me look fabulous (because the outer appearance is what truly matters, apparently), and things, things, things galore that my life is simply incomplete without. Today is black friday, and I almost got in a wreck at Barnes & Noble today while parking due to a car that forced its way in front of me and took my desired parking spot.
Slow down, world, material possessions aren't that important.
Oftentimes our souls cling to materialism, and we fall into the mindset of thinking that creations are more important than the Creator. We forget that things are meant to be used and people are meant to be loved-not the other way around.
In regards to appearances, it is the same idea that I am focusing on. This week has been a simple heart-check: is my soul consumed with how I appear to other people, what I look like on the outside, or that I am perceived a certain way?
My heart should be striving to please God, peaceful with my appearance as it is, and calm in the truth that God calls me His child, even after seeing me at my darkest.
The aim of this series is to rid my soul of excess (because we all need a good cleaning out every now and then), and to practically do this over the past week I have focused on the idea of original: in all things I have forced my mindset to focus on origins.
My hair undone, free from clips, straighteners, products, and excess.
My face natural, clean of makeup, moisturizers, tweezers, and excess.
My wardrobe simple, away from jewelry, nail polish, style, and excess.
Not that any of this is bad. It's just not vital, and sometimes my heart forgets this.
It's good to intentionally unclench my grasp from worldly things, because it's easy to not realize just how tight my fists were holding on to vanity.
This past week I've enjoyed being simple. Natural. Original.
You know what? It was liberating.
When you move past feeling bare and exposed, you realize that simplicity is really quite glorious.
You realize that sometimes we cover ourselves up with so much crap that we forget who God has made us to be.
The truth is, I've never really struggled much my physical outer appearance like many others I know. It's always good to be cleansed, and so in this area I still gleaned, but I hardly was sacrificing much as I already don't wear makeup on daily basis, my wardrobe preferences are simple, and my hair has a frazzled mind of its own so I never put much effort into it anyway. My larger sacrifice, however, regarded perception. Like many others I'm sure, I often struggle with what other people think of me and need reminders of where my identity is supposed to be placed. It seems like our world is constantly focused on the self and how much each person can gain for his or herself, and oftentimes to achieve our end goals we become wrapped up in how other people see us. We place our identities in who others say we are rather than who God says we are.
We all want to be funnier. More stylish. The most knowledgable. The wisest. The coolest. The fill-in-the-blank.
In my quiet times this week, I dwelt on scriptures that emphasizes who God has made me to be, scriptures such as:
'I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made'. -Psalm 139:14The Lord worked on me and convicted me of soul perception this week. Though it's healthy to want others to find you a loving person, it's also healthy to check your heart and pinpoint your motivation. This week I asked God to mold my heart for Him, that He remind me not to live to please other people but only to live out of love for Him and the faith I have in Jesus. It's easy, especially in ministry, to be consumed with how others perceive you. This past summer my flesh wanted to be the cool intern, but the Spirit said to be a servant. As a bible major I want to be seen as the most theological student, but the Spirit moves me to live in humility and to remember that I am only learning. As a friend I want to be seen as the strongest prayer warrior, the most knowledgable discipler, or the funniest one in the bunch, but the Spirit says to be faithful, be loving, and be attentive to the needs of others.
God has made us for good works, but as we live in the world we are tempted to be consumed by it, and when we allow our hearts to value the world versus valuing God, we are not living into our kingdom purpose: to love God, which, at it's core, is found in loving other people.
So, it is the end of week two and my messy soul is a bit cleaner than it was last week. It's been a beautiful week of welcoming the kingdom and being reminded of where my identity is meant to lie: in the heart of the Father.
My dear friend Ashlyn walked through a similar process last year, and as a part of her cleansing the Lord convicted her to cover all of the mirrors in her house to remove her focus from her physical appearance. Read about her journey here.
