My simplification for this week was in regards to what I am referring to as 'essence', best explained with the terms 'thought life', 'motivations', and 'being'. The parts of me that make decisions, whatever it is within me that chooses intentionality, those moments when my soul decides to submit to the Spirit to overcome my flesh-all of these are examples of my essence. This week I focused on capturing for myself the scripture that says to 'love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind'.
As the week began, I became increasingly aware of my motivation behind every word spoken and action performed, and as the days continued I discovered that my problem was usually not that I necessarily had negative or dishonorable intentions, but rather my problem was that a lack of virtuous or righteous intentions existed. This week God showed me that apathy and foolishness are flesh-issues that can too easily become present in my life.
Don't we see this happen in the lives of people every day? One person offends another, and in defense of his or her actions the offender tells the offended, 'I didn't mean to!'
The problem often is not that we meant to hurt someone, but rather that we didn't intend not to.
When apathy and/or foolishness plague our words and actions, by default our flesh fails and produces sin, which is the opposite of God.
Love is intentional. Sin is apathetic, fearful, complacent, harmful, foolish.
What comes to mind is the age-old philosophical question: is a person guilty if he or she does not participate in evil but at the same time does not prevent it from happening?
Of course, no one can prevent every bad occurrence from taking place, but at the very least I believe that each person can work on being more intentional.
I believe this process must begin with the thoughts being taken captive.
Many Christians today are solely concerned with the casting out of demons, the experiencing of the Holy Spirit in the form of theophanies, and various other metaphysical happenings (perhaps miracles that extend past the natural rules of the world in which we understand, for example), and perhaps there are times and places for all of these events, these experiences of God that are more extreme and spiritually tangible in a sense, but oftentimes we overlook a simple, less tangible way in which spiritual warfare can be won, perhaps even a more if not just as much vital way: taking thoughts captive.
In actively submitting one's thoughts to the Holy Spirit by dwelling on what is pure, lovely, noble, true, and right, one is able to then live out a life in full submission to God, for thoughts beget dwelling, which begets action, which begets a life made up of characteristics reflective of one's heart and thoughts.
'A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.' -Roald DahlLovely thoughts yield way to a lovely life. The heart and the thought life are closely intertwined, I believe, and perhaps this is why Jesus more clearly defines the law of Torah in Matthew chapters five through eight.
Adultery isn't simply the act, but rather it is the mere thought of lust spurring from the heart.
Murder isn't the start of a sin, but rather the flesh falls when anger enters the scene.
No act matters at all without a pure heart with righteous motivation behind the act, and pure motivation coming from a fallen, broken, flesh-filled human being such as myself must be intentionally chosen, which can only happen when I make up my mind to do so, thanks be to the sweet grace of God that the Father has so greatly lavished. To be intentional means to do life on purpose. It means to do more than exist.
This week I recited the Sermon on the Mount for a test grade in one of my classes, and as I was memorizing it I realized how ideal it was that this week would be the one in which I was reciting it, for the week in which I was focusing on my essence was the week in which I was forced to dwell on scripture regarding Jesus' commands on how to live as an assignment. Each passage engrained in my mind was a unit of truth written on my heart, and as I recited three chapters of the Bible this past week I realized that dwelling on scripture is perhaps the best way to 'set one's mind on things above' (Colossians 3:2). Oftentimes I feast my eyes on Christian self-help books, theological responses or devotionals, or truth-filled blog posts, and though all of these are good they are not the actual scriptures. Sometimes we simply need to go back to the basics-back to the Bible.
The last point to make here is prayer. In order to dwell on truth so that it will fill me from the inside out to make my cup overflow, I need to go to the direct source: God. As C.S. Lewis said, 'If you want to get warm you must stand near the fire: if you want to be wet you must get into the water. If you want joy, power, peace, eternal life, you must get close to, or even into, the thing that has them'. This week I asked God to remind me of His ever-present Spirit, and to remind me that prayer is not an act that happens before a meal or merely in church on Sunday mornings. Prayer is a walk of faith, a daily, moment-by moment lifestyle in which the Christ-follower is called to embrace.
This week I was reminded of much, mostly I think of how and why to be lovely. Oftentimes I forget, especially being in America, that spiritual purity is worth striving for. It's easy to justify crudeness, obscenity, or even simply a harsh, complaining, or judgmental mindset, but all of these and more are simply not edifying. Secularism surrounds us: television convinces us to numb our minds, music screams at us that degrading people is acceptable, and much of what my generation grows up with is only that which centers upon self-indulgence, one's own success, and pushing aside other people if the ends justify the means.
The world is abrasive, harsh, blunt, and desensitized.
There is beauty in a gentle and quiet spirit. There is loveliness in setting one's mind on what is pure, lovely, noble, and right. There is a soul who strives for not being 'bad', who settles for not being actively evil or for not indulging in a blatantly sinful lifestyle, and then there is a soul who goes the extra mile, who does not settle for what is simply good but strives for what is best, who lives above reproach. This, I think, is what it perhaps means to truly want to be a slave to righteousness, in which there is such freedom, to constantly be wanting more of God, because the closer we are pulled, the deeper we are taken, the better, more pure, and cleaner our very essence is, and the better we are able to love other people and do life less from habit and more from intention.
I'm past the halfway point of finishing college, and I don't feel as if I'm 'all grown up' yet. I still purchase Disney coloring books. I take naps. I wear fuzzy socks and giggle at ridiculous happenings. The more I know the more I realize how much I indeed do not know, and every day I'm learning about how to live and how to live life with God, stumbling my way into existence and into the knowledge of what it means to be a Christ-follower. I don't really know what all the future holds or what all I want to happen or what I necessarily want to 'be'. When I was little, my answers varied: teacher, chef, painter, interior designer, international traveler, professional soccer player or perhaps a mountain climber who owned her own coffee shop. Now, I hope to be a professor, a social justice and sustainability advocate for those in Haiti, and a few other ideal peoples, but honestly the future will surprise me no matter how much I plan. All I really know is that I want to be lovelier tomorrow than I was the day previously. I want to be grace-filled. I want to be gentle-spirited. I want to be joyful. Intentional. Peaceful in the midst of a chaotic world. I want to be real in any and all circumstance, yet patient in affliction and hopeful in prayer.
I want every fiber of my being to reflect Jesus Christ, and I was reminded of that truth this week.
Butterflies are one of my favorite gifts in nature. They're gentle as can be, yet they take one's breath away with their mere presence. They are lovely simply by being. When I grow up, I want to be a butterfly.
