Words are hard because Monday.
That summarizes how I've felt all day long, or really that summarizes how I've felt since last Thursday with momentary exceptions here and there.
Feelings are near impossible to put into words, so I won't try. Earlier today though my friend and I related to each other, because she was feeling the same way too, and in fact I have had various conversations with multiple individuals who felt as if they were internally struggling, down or angst-filled for one reason or another.
In a funk.
A funk in which you've been around people for too long and you simply need solitude.
In which you're dropping everything and you've suddenly become the most incompetent person in the world.
In which the Enemy whispers lies and your flesh gives in, whether you know better or not.
Perhaps it's anxiety creeping in because the to-do lists never end, the grades are ever-looming, and your mind and body aren't made to glorify busyness, no matter what society says.
Perhaps you're emotional without reason.
A friend of mine will every now and then have an irritable day, one in which everyone is annoying and all one wants to do is make angry cat references. Perhaps not everyone has days such as these, but I believe more people do than will let on. One reason why I adore this friend so much is because she will simply let herself be. I don't mean she allows herself to hate on people or remain in a state of unrest, but she allows herself to be real. She doesn't put on a facade, which I think is beautiful.
God doesn't mind if we're pissed.
He minds if we're wandering in the wrong direction, channeling ourselves away from Him.
One of many empowering truths about God is that we can come boldly to His throne of grace no matter what state of being or mind we find ourselves in.
God meets us where we're at.
One of the most comforting pieces of advice I've ever received was to find God in the midst of it all. Don't merely praise Him when your endorphins are kicking in and your chemicals are working together to produce happy feelings. Go to Him when you're down, when you're angry and annoyed, incompetent and anxious.
Depressed and hormonal.
Prideful and ashamed.
Insecure and embarrassed.
Confused and lonely.
Enraged.
Cynical.
Longing.
Impatient.
Hurting.
Going to God in these times, in these funks, is perhaps the most vulnerable time to go to Him, to dwell in His Presence and soak in His Spirit.
When the funks come, the best response is to say 'God, this is all I have today. This is all I bring-the flesh of my flesh. Do with it what you will'.
It's not that He will necessarily take any problems away or that all of a sudden you will 'feel' better. Oftentimes we forget that Mother Theresa seldom 'felt' any light in her life. More often than not it seemed as if the darkness was all around, consuming her, attacking her.
It's just that in this, in being real and living out the messy, we find that joy is not based on a feeling. Joy is not putting up a facade or pretending that the world is made of sunshine or rainbows. Joy is a choice to look heavenward, a mentality that says 'My flesh is failing and this world is rough, but I have a present and future hope because of what I know and hold to be true in the person of Jesus'.
In this, in the laying down of the flesh, room is made for the Spirit to hold us together.
Hope comes.
Hope, the very virtue that we all crave, is exactly what we find in the name of Jesus.
We are waiting for Him, fasting for Him. I think in this life we are supposed to encounter funks. We, like the disciples before us, were promised trials of various kinds.
In these times it is vital to speak it out, to let the words flow when all around your soul gives way.
Prayer becomes our crutch when we all of a sudden find we cannot stand.
In this, the powers of darkness tremble. They are always at work.
In this, the Lord our God is ever-faithful. For when we cannot stand, He does.
When the world sucks.
When life is unexplainable.
When words are hard:
His kingdom is here and it is indeed still to come, so have hope dear friend, wherever you are at.
I'm not sure who, but someone needed to read these words today. The world is broken, and anyone who says otherwise is lying or sheltered.
I'm not sure who, but someone needed to read these words today. The world is broken, and anyone who says otherwise is lying or sheltered.
We have a future glory though, a Groom who is coming for His bride, a hope-and until then we live life by the Spirit.
I love this real, raw, vulnerable post by Sarah Bessey in which she opens up about her insecurities and funks: In Which This is My Sacred Scared.
