Today I've been able to continue blogging, so onward with the series Soul Fixation, a process of sorts in which I am focusing on one area of my life each week to know God's heart more pertaining to that week's category.
The past seven days' focus regarded relationships, which honestly intimidated me quite a bit before the week began. It's such a broad category, so I wasn't sure what God was going to teach me. As a reminder, this series is one that I am engaging in for the purpose of fixing my eyes upon Christ in all areas of my life, to remind myself of little truths about the love of God in every element of life. When it came to relationships, I didn't know where to begin or how to go about doing this, so I did what first came to mind: I began in prayer. As the week went on and I simply took note of the interactions with people around me, God taught me much, and after reflection, there are a few main points, all of which intertwine and are related to one another, that I'd like to share.
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| One of my favorite pairs of best friends from way back when! |
Relationships are hard.
Someone said this to me the other day, and for some reason it just hit home, these three mere words that contain so much weight. Whether it is romantic, friendly, familial, or a more distant interaction, such as one with a coworker or the guy that delivers your mail, human interaction is one of the more difficult areas of life to navigate, and the reasons are different (though overlapping at points) for all of us. If you're timid and shy, then maybe you allow yourself to be held captive to fear, making it hard to be bold in love or confident in your relationships. If you're an extrovert, perhaps your personality is both a blessing and a curse, or maybe your mouth gets ahead of your head sometimes. Maybe you're great at giving advice but a terrible listener, or maybe you want to give encouragement but you fear awkwardness and so shy away from bold vulnerability. Maybe your coworker has a quirky annoyance or perhaps you feel as if your parents will never understand you (and you're way past your teenage angst years). Maybe you struggle with handling conflict between you and your significant other, or perhaps you struggle with singleness when it feels like everyone around you is getting engaged or thriving in romance (singleness can be a beautiful gift, by the way). Maybe your children drive you crazy or you and a friend are hitting heads for one reason or another. No matter what you're currently experiencing, it's true for all of us: relationships are hard, and even though they are full of beauty and oftentimes bring joy and excitement, they aren't always easy, and people aren't always loving. Even the person that we see as best in this life will let us down, because the truth is, every person is still human, and we all mess up and are in need of a little divine grace. Every relationship that we encounter requires investment, work, patience, wisdom, understanding, and much else. It's not even that every person will fail us (even if it's a little way), but it's also the truth that I will fail people around me. You will fail people around you. We all need to hold ourselves and each other to standards of grace, because it is in this way that relationships are preserved, healed, and then able to thrive again as well as maintain unity even in the tough times.
Relationships are worth it.
Disney recently came out with a movie called Frozen, a delightful animated film filled with mystical creatures, magical elements, and adventures galore. In it, one sister discovers that she has magic powers that, though they are not evil in and of themselves, could be used for harm if not controlled and used properly. However, instead of sharing her gift and learning to use it rightly, she decides to keep her secret hidden, but in order to do so she isolates herself from everyone around her. Eventually conflict arises between the two sisters Elsa and Anna, driving the older, gifted one into isolation. Away from others Elsa finally is allowed to 'Let Go' and hide her true self no longer (listen to the song below, as the soundtrack is fantastic), but her isolation progressively leads to destruction of herself and other people. If she had simply embraced herself, her kingdom community, and especially her sister from the start, a huge conflict could've been avoided, and Elsa likely would've discovered that relationships, though they are hard and would've required sharing her magical secret, are more than worth it.
This is a lesson to take to heart most certainly. Relationships are not easy, they require us to be vulnerable-even transparent-but they are worth it for various reasons: for both parties and for the sake of Jesus and His love, above all other examples.
We are all made by, for, and through love.
I recently heard a song with the lyrics 'I was never made to fight on my own', and it's so true, we are living in a world in which we battle daily: fights of stress and anxiety, fights of sickness and death, fights of confusion and hurting hearts, fights of spirituality and physical happenings that cause our souls to ache for a different world.
Perhaps this, that this life does not satisfy, is proof enough that we are made for another world.
Of course, our weapons are ones of the metaphysical world that are enabled by the Holy Spirit: a helmet of salvation, a sword of the Spirit, a belt of truth, a shield of faith, among other defenses. However, we have one other gift that perhaps is our biggest weapon of all: each other. If we grasped this truth, that we are made for each other and that we need each other, I truly believe that the world would be a different place altogether. If we saw each person on this planet as a gift from above and as a child of God, maybe we'd wage wars against world hunger instead of against one another. Maybe there would be less homelessness, or maybe children wouldn't be abused in any form or fashion. We need to remember that relationships are worth it, because people are worth it, and people-every single person-is made to love and be loved. We are all made for good works.
Jesus isn't confined to 'Jesus'.
I find this to be a challenging concept to explain. The other day a friend and I were discussing how we sometimes have to remind ourselves that being a Christian does not mean that every conversation that comes out of our mouths has to be directly about God or Jesus Christ or the Holy Spirit. A dear friend of mine once told me that found herself so submerged within the evangelical Christian experience that she could not find joy in any other area of life that wasn't directly about Christian elements-the Bible or the Church, as examples. I think oftentimes we forget that, though obviously Christians need to have conversations about the Scriptures, the concepts of God, and the love of Jesus, at the same time we should not feel like failures or bored if we aren't sharing the Gospel in every single conversation we have. Church is a great place to be in order to find community and to provide a safe worship atmosphere, but at the same time we shouldn't feel guilty about doing things for fun or about spending our time doing other things, because the truth is, we can (and are meant to) do all things to the glory of God. You can glorify God while playing a sport, while at work, while eating out with your family, or while watching television. Being a Christian is primarily about living lives of love, nothing more and nothing less, and though every word, thought, and action should be centered on the love of Christ, this can look various ways. Too often we put God in a box, and when we do this we end up compartmentalizing our joy and experience of God's love. Edifying conversations are not confined to the words 'Jesus' or 'Gospel'. God's love is not only found when one is at bible study or worshipping the Father in song. We can experience God in so, so many other ways, words, and areas of life as well.
In terms of relationships, just because someone isn't a Christian doesn't mean you and him/her can't find common ground or love one another. A big misconception within Christianity is that the love of Christ is confined to Christians, or that real relationships can only exist within the Church. This isn't true at all, if anything it's a direct lie. The love of Christ is meant to be extended to all peoples, and God and His love can be found in the midst of any relationship.
I'm not speaking here of salvation, universalism, or other eternal concepts but rather the present concept of loving people, no matter what belief differences exist.
When I was in high school I got my first tattoo, the simple Greek word Agape, which is the translation for unconditional love. I wanted it because I wanted the impressed reminder to live out this concept, this truth that unconditional love, given from God, has been given to me so that I may extend it with my life to other people, no matter who they are, what they've done, or if I think they deserve it or not, because the truth that overwhelmed me when I was sixteen prompting me to give my life to Jesus still is true today: I, a messy, broken person, am undeserving, yet God loves me anyway, which He displays in various ways but mostly that He sent His Son Jesus.
This is the love of Christ: to love without condition, to speak with good intention, to give without needing a reason, and to show compassion without expecting any back or thinking that you deserve it.
I get that sometimes it's easier to connect to people that share the same values as you, and I'm not arguing that couples should be unequally yoked or that Christians shouldn't have community among believers. What I am saying is that we, the Church, need to understand that preserving relationships and loving people is at the heart of the Gospel, so in any situation of life we should be able to find a way to genuinely love another person, because the last truth is this: relationships are not about 'me'. Loving other people is not something that we are called to do because it makes us feel good or so that we can receive love in return, but rather we are called to love other people because God first loved us. Relationships are solely about serving other people, regardless if you benefit from it or not. Is it true that the more I love another person, the more I become how I am made to be? Yes. Is it true that God works all things for the good of those that love Him, and so in loving Him, which spurs me to love others, He works for my good? Yes. However, these are all end products, not the reasons or motivations behind loving at all. Our faith in Jesus and our souls being overwhelmed by the divine grace we have received are what transform our hearts to desire to love other people, because the love our Savior has given us is too good to not share with other people. We love and serve other people because we want to be like Jesus, and let's be real: we can't do it without Him.
This past week God reminded me of the purpose of relationships, as well as showed me just how beautiful they are. We are each others biggest blessings, and we should love and cherish each other as such.
I am so, so into this movie's soundtrack right now. The entire film was, in my opinion, way under-advertised and surprisingly entertaining. It's not quite at the level of Tangled, but it's not far off.
That's all for today, I suppose.
