That last sentence is probably the most bitter-sweet one I'll ever type on this blog. It may seem silly, but lately, as I've grown sad at the thought of not being in College Station this fall with some of the sweet friends and mentors I've met over the past two years, the infamous words of Dr. Seuss frolic through my mind:
'Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened'.
The Lord is calling me somewhere else, for purposes that I am certain He has ordained, and it's going to be beautiful. Leaving good times is difficult though-especially before you've experienced the new ones.
This summer has absolutely flown by, being full of lock-ins and bible studies, discipleship and mentoring, teaching and praying, laughing and crying, pies-in-the-faces and movie premieres with every day more colorful than the one before it.
And every minute I have loved it. There have been moments on the mountain-tops and moments on my knees. There have been broken cries reaching to the Heavens and joyful praises with hands lifted high. There have been ups and downs and growth and growth-and all of it has been beautiful.
This week I've been at ACU's Leadership Camps, and as I was reflecting on what all has happened this week and this summer, I decided to document some of what the Lord has shown me. Though every day brings uncertainties, here are some small aspects of my life that (I like to think) are for sure:
My heart is here.
I. love. ministry.
Back in high school, when I first heard, felt, and saw the Lord calling me to His work-teaching people more about Jesus Christ so that they can let His love change their lives-I knew it was what my heart was made for. It (the Gospel) is what all of us are made for, but God has asked me to teach it, so that's what I'm doing. Even though I may have ran from it and tried to make other majors and schools and careers work, He's brought me back to this every time, because my heart is here. My heart is in ministry.
People don't need a super-Lauren; they need a Lauren who needs a super-God.
I learned this really from the first week of interning, and this truth rings loud with circumstances every day. I've seen it especially this week while being in Abilene. I'm here at ACU, being blessed with the privilege to lead groups, teach classes, and disciple kids, and I can't even begin to explain how incredibly powerful it is to see God moving in their hearts. At the same time, I don't think I've ever been this exhausted before (except maybe in Haiti). At the end of each day when my head hits the pillow I don't think even two minutes passes before I am out, and then the alarm is blaring loud telling me to get up because a new day has started.
And let me tell you, I am so grateful that His mercies are new every day.
As exhausting and energy-draining as this all may be-as this entire summer has been-, it is more than worth it to let the Lord use me in bringing these kids closer to Him. It's worth the tears if it means love is introduced. It's worth talking about the pain of their past if it means hearts are restored. It's worth the silliness and the singing and the yelling and the chaos if it means a safe place is created and that these kids see Jesus.
Every day, I spend separate time with the Lord because I need Him. It should be because I want to, and sometimes that is true, but sometimes the desire is lacking. A nap sounds better. A break seems called for. I know, though, that spending time in His Presence is the only satisfying experience in existence. Seriously. I could not do it without leaning on His arms and hearing His sweet Spirit. He reminds me every day that these kids don't need me to be perfect. They just need me to show them a God who is.
Best friends are some of life's greatest gifts.
I've gotten to worship, pray, and talk with my best friend Erin while in Abilene, and I cannot even describe how great it is to see God speak wisdom and encouragement through her and just to have a presence that you know is always there loving and living life with you-to have someone that is for you and praying for you. She just gets me, and it's great. Right before I came to camp, I got to spend time with one of my other best friends Shelby, who I've know since we were born. It sounds cliche, but we've truly been through so much together. She's seen me at my worst and my best, and the same is true of me to her. We've been through thick and thin, a lot of firsts (and lasts), and we've still stayed close throughout the twenty years of our friendship. We know each other inside and out, can call each other out on anything, will be there for each other at any time, and are always praying for and with one another. She's one of those friends that you feel the same around no matter how much time has passes. God's been truly bountiful in the blessings of friends He's given me.
Kids are one of the greatest sources of joy.
I'm serious. For many kids, the realities of life haven't completely hit. They're still young and naive-in a good way. For some, this might not be the case, but for all, I see this truth: they have a special sort of spirit. There is a reason that the Bible tells us to have a child-like spirit, and there is a reason that Jesus said to let the little children come to Him. They have a contagious joy and energy that is found nowhere else. They forgive so easily, they love unconditionally, and they smile constantly. Their silliness is a reminder for my soul to rejoice in the little things, and their blunt honesty is a lesson to have innocence. I've been put in positions to teach kids, but I think they've taught me more than the other way around.
Everyone needs Jesus-every day.
Some of the work I've gotten to do this summer has been with those that life hasn't exactly been so kind to: the homeless, the lower-income families, the broken-hearted, and others. I think our society labels people based on their situations and I've decided I'm tired of it. What difference is there between myself and someone who doesn't know where their lunch is coming from? How does Jesus look upon a member of the Church verses a skeptic who doesn't believe? Who receives love-the prostitute or the eighty year old woman sitting in the pew? I need Jesus, you need Jesus, that person over there needs Jesus, and every single person needs Him. I'm not perfect. You're not, either, but we are both loved. I may be saved and sanctified every day, but I still mess up and I still need grace. We are all living in a torn place-a world attacked by flesh and spiritual warfare and demons and hurt and pain and poverty-but we are all beautifully broken. We are all so messed up, but Jesus sees potential in all of us. He has come to bring us life and love and hope. I'm blessed so that I can bless those who are attacked. I'm safe inside the Church walls so that I can risk my life for those that aren't. Scripture straight up says that there is no greater love than this: to lay down a life for another. It's been so on my heart to stop striving for prettiness and comfortableness and to start living for love. It might be messy, uncomfortable, socially unacceptable, or whatever else, but it's beautiful and it's of Jesus and it changes lives.
Kids can understand more than most people would think.
It's true that I've had to switch gears this summer, going from leading college freshman to middle schoolers, high schoolers, and sometimes fifth and sixth graders (or even younger), and it's true that I've had to prayerfully figure out what it looks like to teach biblical principles on a milk level rather than a meat level-or sometimes having to find a good middle ground-but I've made a discovery: kids can understand more than we often give them credit for. This doesn't mean that it's okay to throw every detail of any situation their way or introduce them to every single awful news story that happens in our world today, but it does mean being real and sometimes going deeper than simple activities or what I call 'fluff'. The fun stuff is great, but if we are going to teach kids truly what Jesus wants all people to understand, then we have to find a balance between the silly and the serious. Kids are smart, and they like being treated as such, or, at least, that's what I've concluded from working with them this summer. I often forget that Jesus' disciples were (most likely) my age or younger, and they followed Him, listened to His teachings, experienced hardships, and often carried incredible worldly burdens that were forced upon them. They were exposed to the realities of Christ vs the world, and if they were, then why don't we expect our own kids-and even ourselves-to, also? If anything, it does good to prepare them for deeper spiritual growth they will hopefully have in the future, and even in that I believe they grow.
Host families are the bomb.com
Yes, I just used that old nineties lingo...don't judge, and not to rub it in or anything, but my host family is the best one out there. I mean seriously-they love soccer, ice cream, and Jesus. It doesn't get much better.
In all seriousness, I love them. I've gained a new sister and brother, a second (third, fourth, fifth?) mom and dad, and I even feel like I've gained (yet another) set of new grandparents! Maybe I just love meeting and getting to know people, but I have just loved living with a host family this summer. I've never felt so loved, welcomed, and taken care of by a group of people that aren't my biological family-and I've met a lot of awesome families in the past! It takes a lot to open up your home, your food, and your belongings to someone who isn't already in the family, and that's exactly what the Barkers have done for me. It's such a beautiful example of sacrificial love, and it's also reminded me that, even though we may not be biologically related, we are bonded through a different kind of family, for we are all in the kingdom of God and called His children. Spiritually, we are all family. Honestly, it's made me want to do a similar sort of thing later on in my life. How cool would it be to open up your home and say, 'What's mine is yours! You're a part of this family now'. I think it'd be pretty stinking cool.
Prayer is the most powerful tool we've got.
This probably isn't news to you, but my heart needed this reminder. I think I just love prayer, too, so I tend to center my mindset around it or incorporate it into blog posts as much as possible. It's seriously the only way I ever want to live, daily walking in prayer. Every moment is one that I am able to connect to God through listening to His Spirit or telling Him what's on my heart. It's powerful against spiritual warfare, for it submits all battles to God for Him to overcome. It strengthens relationships, forming bonds among God's children, and it reaches across borders and empowers the hearts and lives of believers. One of my previous roommates is in Nepal this summer, and it's been one the coolest parts of my summer to lift her up in prayer, battling with her every day through whatever she is facing on the other side of the world. When our kids are at camp, it's one of the greatest ways to show them Christ's love. Prayer is the ultimate way to cast our burdens onto Jesus. Prayer is powerful and I love it, I love it, I love it.
Chacos are my favorite.
The Chaco trend is one that many of you can probably identify with, especially if you're a college student. Ever since I went to Overlanders in College Station and bought my first pair (thanks to my roommates Claire and Jenna convincing me that they were the best shoes ever), I've worn them multiple times a week. They're great for sunshine, they resist the rain, and they're great for being active. I've known how awesome (and functional) they are, but I don't think I've ever worn them as much as I have this summer. I've literally worn them almost every day. I even wear them to church sometimes. It may be more shallow as far as lessons learned, but it's still one I didn't know before June began. Chacos are my favorite shoes.
This summer still has three-ish weeks left in it, and I feel like my soul and mind have been grown in a magnitude of ways. I truly hope that yours has been blessed and has been a time of growth in knowing our Heavenly Father more and more with every single day that passes.
