Last year I painted two canvases that each had a part of Ruth 1:16 on them: 'Where you go, I'll go, and where you stay, I'll stay'. This simple sentence that holds so much weight is from the biblical story of Ruth. Her mother-in-law, Naomi, encourages Ruth to go back to her home country after Naomi's husband and two sons have died, leaving their wives with hardly any money, protection, or families. One daughter-in-law, Orpah, heeds Naomi's advice and travels back home to safety, comfort, and her family. Although Naomi urges her time and time again, Ruth refuses to leave her, saying, 'Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your God will be my God and your people will my people'. The Lord had called Ruth to be by Naomi's side through thick and thin, even though her future was unknown. The Lord took them both on an adventure in which He provided shelter, an income, and a larger family for them both. God showered them in blessings and taught Ruth to walk in faith, taking each step hand in hand with her mother-in-law and with her heavenly Father.
I painted this verse to hang in our home last year-before I knew how much it would apply to my life. I've always loved this story and the multiple lessons that can be taken from it, especially that of faith. Many of you already know, but for those that don't, this upcoming year, I will be taking a step of faith and transferring to Abilene Christian University in the fall of 2013. The Lord is truly teaching me what it means to surrender to Him and say, 'Lord, where you go I will go'. Though I'm incredibly excited for what the future holds, it's also bittersweet, as the Lord has given me so many blessings in College Station these past two years, and though the memories have been wonderful and I've grown so much from them all, I will definitely miss so many sweet souls.
So many people ask me why, and there's a rather long story to that, but to sum it all up I only say that I believe the Lord is calling me to study ministry at ACU. My heart has been pulled to study either missions or ministry since high school, and I almost attended ACU after my senior year, but for a multitude of reasons I did not, and ever since then I have struggled with my reason for studying at A&M. The academics at A&M-though they excel in so many areas-lack when it comes to faith. Simply put, it is impossible to study ministry at a state school. My field of study for the past two years has been Anthropology-the study of people and cultures-and though it has been beautiful to see the Lord's handiwork in such a secular major and I've learned so much, I still find the Lord calling me to a different school for a different major. I know now that I am not called to overseas missions longterm-for a variety of reasons-but I am called to study ministry, and I definitely want to continue to do global mission work throughout my life, if the Lord wills, during my summers or breaks.
Another question I get a lot is if I would go to ACU originally if I could do it all again, and the answer is absolutely not. The Lord has had me at A&M for two wonderful years for many special reasons. Being in the major I have been, my faith has grown immensely, and all of my growth has been in ways I never would've imagined. Anthropology is a fun but secular major-not one of my professors has been a believer. In fact, they have all been very outspoken atheists, some of them even openly making fun of religion in class. I was introduced to ideas I had never even heard of before, and my faith was tested as I had people asking me incredibly tough questions, many that I had zero answers for. My freshman year was rough, to say the least, but the Lord showed me how His handiwork is in everything-even down to the tiniest electron in quantum physics. The Lord also showed me how important knowledge is-and also how insignificant it can be. Let me explain. Knowledge of our world-of the universe, of plants, of animals, of people-is a gift from above. We are allowed to explore and increase our knowledge of our surroundings, but when that knowledge goes to our head, it can so easily turn to sin. I encountered so many professors and students who, because of how much they knew, came to the conclusion that God knew very little-even refusing His existence in many circumstances. I love learning and I appreciate many different aspects of school, but I've always considered myself more of an 'artsy' person when it comes to strengths of school. I love English and have never really enjoyed math nor paid much attention to science, and so much of what I was learning my freshman year was new to me. I had never met so many smart people before, and many of them seemed very firm in their beliefs-or unbeliefs. I graduated from a small, private, Christian school and thought I knew everything about what I believed and why I believed it.
How very wrong I was.
The Lord allowed me to wrestle with some of the toughest questions from some of the smartest people I will probably ever meet, and only He knows what it did to my faith. I realized that I didn't know near as much as I thought I did-about my faith, about Jesus Christ, and about life in general. I didn't know how to answer all of these tough questions and I didn't know what that meant for me and my faith.
Growing up, the Lord has protected me and revealed Himself to countless times and in various ways. I learned from Him how to forgive, love, and trust. During my college years, I was reminded of all of these things. I learned that as believers we need to be rooted in truth so that we can stand firm against the devil's evil schemes, and just so that we can explain our faith to others. I learned that we need to give all of our burdens and questions to Him, trusting that He will reveal answers if He wants us to know them. I've learned what it means to couple knowledge with love so that the result is beautiful truth. Philippians 1:9-11 puts this into words beautifully:
'And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.'
I have learned that we should learn. We should question. We should discover. Above all, we should constantly be humbled, because it is God who is allowing us to learn. We should seek to know Him more than we should know anything or anyone else, because it is by knowing Him more-His story, His happenings, and His truth-that we grow in love. The more we know Jesus, the more we know how to love other people. The more we know Jesus, we more we know that we are mere humans who really know very little. God knows all. God should know all. He is God.
Knowledge + Love = Truth
I don't pretend to be able to have all of the answers to all of those tough questions-many of them regarding philosophy and science-though the Lord has shown me some answers. What I will claim to have knowledge of is the Lord. He has revealed His faithful character time and time again. I can only boast in Jesus Christ.
Anyway, I wouldn't have changed these two years for anything. I've gotten to share the gospel with many professors-one who has now accepted Christ-and I've grown in so many ways that I never would've otherwise-especially regarding faith.
I've also met so many wonderful people. I can't stress this enough. The Lord has been abundant in the sweet friends, teachers, mentors, roommates, and others He has put in my life. It's starting to sink in that I have a mere four weeks left. I will definitely be soaking in as much 'friend time' as I can before I leave. So many people have encouraged me in faith, stretched me in faith, wrapped me in hugs, loved on me in countless ways, poured out wisdom, shared honest opinion, and have allowed me to love them. I am so grateful for each and every person. I've gotten the privilege of seeing others grow, too, and that, my friends, is a beautiful thing to witness. There are tears in my eyes as I think on this past year especially, and I thank God for allowing me to serve in the college ministry at Grace Bible Church called Doulos, where I was given sweet freshman girls who hunger to know more of the Lord and His love. Getting to share testimonies, study the Word, pray together, and encourage each other has been my favorite part of college so far. Getting to disciple other people is a marvelous gift the Lord has given us and I can only pray I've been a good steward of it this year. Seeing where each of these people started out and seeing how far the Lord has brought them since then is truly awesome.
I know the Lord has had me in College Station for many purposes, but now He's moving me somewhere else for purposes unknown to me yet. I know He is calling me to study Vocational Ministry (click here to read exactly what that means) and I know that I will most likely attend Graduate School to further my studies in ministry, but besides that I'm not completely sure what all the future holds. I know what I've got planned in my own head, but the Lord has taught me to make plans but to hold them loosely, for His purposes prevail and are often different than what we have for ourselves, though they are far better than we could ever imagine.
One thing I know for sure is that I will visit. I absolutely love staying in touch with people-if you know me well then you know this to be true. I refuse to pretend that a friendship or relationship never existed. I cherish each and every soul the Lord has put in my life. You've all impacted my life in unchanging ways.
I'd love prayer for this adventure the Lord is taking me on. Pray that I am patient in waiting on Him, that I am prayerful in every step I take from this point forward, and that I seek His face in everything I do. Pray that He gives me more people to disciple and to learn from. Pray that I put my studies and my doings in His hands.
Thanks, friends, and I can't wait to keep blogging from afar and to hear how the Lord is working in all of your lives. I love you all dearly.
