I get it, I really do.
Some days it's easy to feel fierce, because my eyeliner is perfect and my lipstick is spot-on and Mondays I like wearing that cool leather jacket.
Other days though, other seasons it's harder to have confidence. There are endless reasons for why, and sometimes you may not even know the reason. You may be depressed or anxious, grieving or overwhelmed. You may have been catcalled one time too many, or you may have simply forgotten: you are beautiful.
Inside and out.
In a world that encourages girls to be pretty rather than smart, it's easy to believe the lies that you're unable, stupid, too forward, or flat-out wrong. A few months ago Pantene made a commercial showing how often women feel the need to apologize for being confident, and the video is astounding.
Especially when you realize how true the message rings.
Because of patriarchal standards, oppression, and traditions that have existed for centuries all over the world, women feel the need to apologize for every little thing. We feel as if we are meant to be seen; not heard, and most girls today are still fighting for the rights to go to school, because our world tells girls that we have no value or worth.
No potential, no capabilities, no gifts or smarts or strengths.
On the other end, as much as the worth of our outsides are emphasized (as if we were cars to stare at, just prizes to be won), most women don't feel confident to look or dress however they desire. Women are shamed and degraded, and too much makeup means you're trying too hard.
Too loud, too quiet, too fat, too skinny, too tall. Too short, too curvy, too bony, and can you cover up please? Your body is shaming us all, and I'm not in control of myself enough to look the other way [PSA: men can control themselves].
These messages and more are constantly being preached, from the Church and everywhere outside of it.
What would it look like if we strived to make peace?
To stop with the too-muches and simply rest here: you are beautiful. You are loved.
Inside and out.
To say this wonderful line: you are a human being, and you are worthy of respect.
To look at girls and not see boobs; to look at women as intelligent, able, fantastic people, too.
To look at men and empower them yes, but to give women platforms because white, heterosexual males have always had voices.
Where are our people of color? Where is our LGBTQ community? Where are my brothers and sisters-in all of our diversity and strength?
Ah, there you all are.
In our bakeries and stores, in our banks and cafes and restaurants. You are business people and ministers, you are students and teachers and staff. You are lovely, lovely humans-just ordinary people doing ordinary things.
Having confidence some days, and hellish dark times on others.
Do me a favor, love: go to your mirror and tell yourself one truth.
You are beautiful.
It sounds cheesy, and maybe it is. I like cheese though, and hope takes all kinds of forms. Hope for me is looking in a mirror and affirming my mind.
Hope is touching my skin, my nose, my eyes, my ears.
It's finding flesh, a little on the soft side, and breathing real deep, in and then out.
It's thinking my little chest mole is cute, and it's not fretting over long legs. I've always been tall, and that makes me good at soccer.
My body is nothing to be ashamed of, and neither is yours.
You are smart. You are loved. You are beautiful.
My little sister is thirteen, and all of these positive messages and more I want her to know. She's already teaching me so much about my own life and body positivity: how to be radiant, how to be confident, how to be silly. She's an extrovert and I'm anything but, so her sunshiney-ness encourages my own decisions.
She's silly and bright and all sorts of ambitious, and I want to be that way too.
I want you to be that way.
You are beautiful.
