The time has come to sit and listen. The time has come to validate experiences.
To share stories.
To tell each other about our lives.
First, I have one question for you:
Who are you?
Think it out, long and hard.
How do you answer that question? What defines you at your core? What makes you up, what's your soul substance? In your very being answer me this: who are you?
Many look at me and see my insides. Those closest to me know me for my excretion, for the sort of person that is produced when I'm around them. They know me as tears and laughter, as pain some days and joy on others.
My friends know my five year old giggles, and my professors know my inquisitive mind.
A groundbreaker. That's what my Nena once named me.
"You're a groundbreaker", she said. "And you always have been".
I'm not really even sure what all that label encompasses, but it sure was empowering to hear. Thanks Nena, I've always wanted to move mountains. I've always wanted to do purposeful, meaningful, beautiful things with this one life that I have.
My parents know my anxiety and the meltdowns that I have over grades.
My sisters know my boy crushes, my feelings and hormones and oh man vulnerability and relationships and all that scary stuff.
These people know my real self, the authentic Lauren through and through.
Who am I?
I am a human being, and I have depth and breath and soul stuff inside of me. I am more than mere body parts; I am flesh and spirit and stories and cells.
Then there are the others.
The ones who look at me and only see skin.
To them I am a temptation, and everything about my outsides are shamed and condemned because I'm "causing men to stumble".
I'm a compilation of eye candy, so be sure to catcall and whistle as I walk past your truck of you and your friends.
I'm a woman. My voice is meaningless, my thoughts trivial.
When many look at me, they only see a body.
And they tie it to my identity.
Lean in close, love. I have words to whisper your way: I am more than the skin on my bones, and the same goes for you. You are more than the anatomy that makes you up. Every person on this earth is defined by so much more than flesh and blood.
Every person is so much more than skin, cells, or sexuality.
We are star stuff and soul spirit and a spectacular sort of substance. Absolutely fantastical. We are image bearers, and we are potential carriers. We are empty jars meant to be filled with virtue and valor and love so sweet. We are meant to be people of character, and our character is meant to define us.
There's a strange misconception among many of us, both in society and in the Church, that anything but our character defines us as people. We reduce ourselves or others down to bodies, sexuality, outward appearances, or reputations among much else. "SKIN", we shout, because skin is what we see. We judge by outward appearances, and I wish we really wouldn't.
It confuses me so, because a body isn't who I am.
A body is what I have.
***
I can't put into words how thankful I am for this site, for the brave voices that have contributed to Faith Feminisms. All of you have been so courageous, so valiant in creating a safe place to ask hard questions and have authentic conversations about topics that matter: privilege, power, patriarchy, the marginalization of women all across the world and many other issues.
These issues need to be addressed. These issues must be addressed.
Because I am a woman, and I am still defined by my body. I am still judged for being single, and many won't stop condemning me until I am married at the altar.
If, not when, I am to marry at the altar.
I would love to get married. Being in love sounds wonderful, absolutely fantastic. It sounds like long days and exciting nights, it sounds real and raw and messy in all the right ways. It sounds stretchy and hard and an experience to grow me and the other person strong. It sounds marvelous, but so are a lot of other life happenings. Being in a romantic relationship will not complete me as a person; it will add to my already whole self, my already whole life. I am an entire human being all on my own, and I have worth and callings and abilities and gifts.
I am a whole person, and you are too.
This, among many other reasons, is why feminism matters, because the world tells us as women otherwise.
Because it is 2014, and gender roles are still taught in churches all over the nation.
Because girls are seen as stumbling blocks and slut shaming is still a common occurrence. Because we teach girls self defense instead of teaching boys to stay the hell away. Rape culture is alive and real, and the time has come to end such evils. Women are not sexual objects, and men are not sex robots that lack self control.
Because girls in countries all over the world can't pursue educations without being kidnapped or killed or tortured or judged.
Because this shit is real, this oppression is happening, and I am tired of it.
I am over it.
I am ready to be seen as a human being, and I'm ready for freedom to be brought to my sisters everywhere.
We are more than merely bodies; we are breath and depth and cells and substance. We are human beings, all of us, and the time has come to start treating each other as such.
Let's continue these conversations. Let's gather 'round tables and campfires and eat and drink merrily. Let's clink our ales together as we engage in real talk, for stories are how we learn and we all have stories to tell. Let's discuss these topics and let's seek Shalom and justice, because we are made for this life: we are made for peaceful lives.
We are made of substance, though the world says otherwise. The world says we are simply skin.
Change is needed, and change is happening. It's real and tangible. It's in the air, I can smell it strong.
It's been a long time coming, sisters.
Let's embrace it full on.
